More Food Issues

That's really all that is left now, food issues. I'm feeling great, otherwise. So, the problem is this transitioning to solids, combined with old eating patterns.

As an example, in the past, I hated to waste food. I still do, but because of that, in the past, I would eat everything on my plate, sometimes finish the kids food off as well. I couldn't stand to see it thrown away, and I had a thing about eating everything I served myself. I'd literally stuff myself, often.

I am still stuffing myself. I am still struggling to stop eating when I am full. In the past, this meant I got fat. now it means I hurt. It's bad indigestion feeling, horrible. Plus, what if I stretch this sleeve and render it less useful? I have to change, literally, a lifetime of eating habits. That is SO fucking hard. I dunno how to do it. Where to start. It's tough. I scheduled an appointment with a psych next week. I need to chat this stuff through. That and loneliness anyway.

Some foods are going okay, others are causing me pain. I reached a point this week where I began to fear food. I was developing a serious fear of eating because it hurt and I never knew what would set it off. I need to drop back and stop pushing myself to manage super dense, solid foods. Some things that I think will effect me, don't. Rice is fine, for example. But anything large, or dense - no deal. Pain ahoy. It's a very, very, steep learning curve. It's not easy. It will get easier, I am only 6w out, but right now, it's tricky.

I had a few days where I got my calories up around 1000-1150, but the past couple of days I have been unable to get much past 800 again, as I revert to softer, easier foods. I was struggling to get any fluids in too, because water is dense and hurty, and everything else is sweet and makes me nauseous. SOmeone suggested iced tea. LIFESAVER. I've managed 1-1.5l for 2 days on it now. I got myself some herbal fruit teas for varying taste but its not sweet at all, and its refreshing and it WORKS!

Enough yabbering! Later gators!