How did I get here?

At what point did I go from I can do this, and weight loss surgery is too extreme, to i have to do this? This story was a major part of it.

Megan and I went to Target shopping, we tried on these pretty summer dresses... I put mine back, said it didn't fit...
What actually happened, was I got STUCK in the dress. I was determined to get it on, despite it being tight - mistake #1. I wrenched it on and my boobs exploded out so it was a no way anyway, but it was also super tight. So I went to take it off. And I couldn't get it off. I started to yank, it would not budge. I was beginning to panic, I was at a point where I thought I was going to have to call Megan or a shop assistant for help, I was in such a panic, I was in tears, my face was red from effort and I was having a freak out. I figured I got it on so there HAD to be a way to get it off but honestly, it wouldn't move. I eventually took some deep breaths to calm myself and pulled and it came off. The relief was indescribable. I was almost in tears again of relief. I was so shaken up. I couldn't believe that had happened with a size 26 ffs. It was fucking terrifying. It was that that made me realise I needed more help than I could give myself... :(


I had my first appointment with the surgeon on October 12. I had a list of questions to ask him:

Complications rate, & what were they?

How many sleeves has this surgeon done?

Post care if complications.. public? Bulk? Cost? (Am a self funded patient)

Waiting time until surgery?

Check cost. Extended health care plan from GP helps?

Leak check before discharge?

Optifast length?

Expected reasonable weight loss goal?

How long does it take for the stomach to recover, repair and completely heal?

How long before I can do strenuous exercise?



He answered them all to my satisfaction and offered further information. I was slotted in for a surgery date on the spot (rare, just good timing on my part), and given appointment dates for the dietician, psychologist and further appointments before and after surgery with Mr Draper. From then until surgery I had 6 weeks, 4 of those on pre surgery diet, so just 2 weeks left of eating 'normally.' Eek. What follows from these entries are video journals I kept over the time up until surgery.